Sharing a room peacefully can be a challenge.
Going to college means making a great deal of changes for many students. For some, living in a dormitory means learning share space with another student who is often a total stranger. While some roommates are able to co-exist peacefully, many have conflicts that they need to work through.
Personal Space Issues
In some cases, the dorm is the first time students have to share a room with someone else. It may be hard to share items, such as mini-refrigerator or a television, or get used to the idea that someone wants to go to bed hours before the other. One roommate may want to watch television when the other wants to study, which can lead to conflict if the one roommate feels she's being forced out of the room. A roommate may have the habit of eating the other's food without replacing it or of borrowing her roommate's clothing or personal items without asking.
Values and Tastes Clash
A lot of students see college as a time to experiment and explore, which can create trouble, unless their roommate sees eye-to-eye with them. Problems usually arise between roommates when a student drinks or tries drugs while his roommate disapproves. Roommates may also clash about having guests, especially those of the opposite sex, overnight. They may also clash over the type of music that plays in the room or what programs to watch on television.
Coping With Conflict
Often, the best way to cope with conflict is to talk it out before it becomes a large issue. If one roommate has a problem with the other, she needs to approach her roommate honestly and directly and try to work out a solution. While ignoring a conflict may seem like the easiest option, it can often cause greater problems down the road as frustration builds. Students who are having a particularly rough time with their roommates may want to talk to a resident adviser about dealing with the conflict.
Roommate Contract
One way to stave off conflict between roommates is to develop a roommate contract at the start of the semester. In the roommate contract, students will outline what items of theirs the roommate can use, such as a television or refrigerator, and which are hands-off. They can also decide basic rules about overnight guests in the contract and make decisions about keeping the room clean, studying hours and bedtime.
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