Many wise people in this world have every right to call themselves philosophers. There are an awful lot of people who think philosophy sounds like a good idea, but too much like hard work. Finally, there are others that really believe philosophers just sit around and think all day. This is a humorous slant on the wannabe philosophers' step-by-step guide to doing nothing.
Instructions
1. Consider going to school to study philosophy and become a college professor, making a difference in the way young minds think. Then realize how much hard work that would entail in the end and return to sitting and thinking.
2. Stop bathing and changing your clothes. A good philosopher, so distracted by having to reason out the universe, would have no time for such small details as personal appearance and hygiene.
3. Spend at least 2 weeks trying to discover the meaning of life. Realize quickly that a search engine is not capable of telling you the true meaning of life and hope for it to be subtly hinted at somewhere in your schedule of daytime shows.
4. Walk around mumbling to yourself and scratching your head. Looking busy is key to your new profession and adding the odd: "Ah ha, I have it" will only add to your philosophical illusion.
5. Purchase books that look like you should read them. A coffee table filled with volumes of Socrates, Plato, Cicero and Seneca make for a good show. Thumbing the pages and highlighting random words will also be helpful.
6. Quote Socrates whenever people ask you a question. Be sure not to mix up Socrates with your favorite chat show's closing thoughts or your current favorite advertising jingle.
7. Sit and around and deliberate on nothing. Fake philosophy will quickly become far to exhausting for you and you will need to begin vigorously pursuing your second career choice of couch potato.
Tags: hard work, meaning life