Living with someone you don't know can be stressful, and moreso if both of you come from different backgrounds. Most conflicts in such living arrangements arise because the people living together focus too much on themselves, and less on their companion. To share a harmonious relationship, it is important to remember an important principle: The response you evoke depends on your actions. If you show respect and responsible behavior, you will get the same in return in most cases. Through small but meaningful gestures, you can be nice to your roommate and lay the foundation for a pleasant relationship.
Show Respect
Respect is not just about language you use; it has a lot to do with the way you behave around your roommate. Any time you need to use something that belongs to your roommate, ask for permission. Once you borrow an item, take good care of it and return it when you have finished with it. Respect your roommate's privacy and way of life. If your roommate goes to bed early, turn down the lights or the volume on your television. If it is the other way around, with your roommate being a night owl, find a way to sleep undisturbed.
Be Responsible
Divide responsibilities with your roommate and be realistic when committing to a task. Take up only those jobs that you know you can complete, then stick to your part of the agreement. If your roommate makes payment to the landlord for the room or utilities, pay her your share on time. Avoid leaving clothes, books and other articles lying all over the place. While you don't have to be a cleanliness freak, you should maintain a minimum level of tidiness.
Be Kind
Do small things to help your roommate. Bring him a snack when you get something for yourself. Invite him to go out with you, but don't feel offended if he has other plans. If you notice that he looks tired, offer to do the cleaning or cooking, although it may not be a part of your pre-determined responsibility. If your roommate doesn't have many friends, introduce her to a few of your own. Share some of your things with your roommate. Ignore minor incidents: If she once borrowed and misplaced one of your favorite novels, consider if it is worth getting into a fight.
Communicate
Speak to your roommate with courtesy. When you meet or leave, ask about how her day was, and show an interest in knowing what's happening in her life, without being nosy. Build up a rapport by spending some time together while cooking or watching television, or do the shopping together. You may not spend hours chatting, but you should be able to communicate with openness. When some issue or problem crops up, think whether it demands any action, get away from the situation, and take your time framing your thoughts into gentle words before you bring it up with your roommate. Listen to her perspective and clarify yours, but focus on reaching a realistic answer to the problem.
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